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Post by morjaz on Jun 9, 2005 15:51:36 GMT -5
Looking at jazz humor I notice jokes quite often point to the money aspect..... i.e. How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars? Well..he starts off with two million dollars... ;D or......What do you call a jazz guitarist without a girlfriend? ummm...Homeless...  or dark humor... What do you throw a drowning jazz guitarist? Well his amp of course...  Hmmmmm.....just as well we all have a sense of humor aint it  |
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mahayana
Member
ballads, small combo stuff
Posts: 693
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Post by mahayana on Aug 14, 2005 6:42:27 GMT -5
Jazzalta ( aka namaste) sent me this-
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors. So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3 piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in. This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel. Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, and the sopranout in the bathroom, and everything has become all too much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.
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Post by Professor on Aug 15, 2005 9:49:42 GMT -5
When introducing the guest trumpet player in the band today, "Stand up, Bob." Bob says, "I am standing!"
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